Try putting these balls in your mouth (Updated 12/18/05)
You know, I'm a sucker for new products, new stores, new kinds of foods and well pretty much any new thing that grabs my attention. I love junk food and was in Publix today on my lunch break and was looking for some kind of dessert. While in the deli section my attention towards this bright red-orange sticker that read, "New Try Me."
"OK," I thought. I picked it up and saw a picture of a nice slice of cheesecake on the side. "I like cheesecake." Well, I looked through the clear plastic tub and this was no cheesecake. Inside sat a flattened ball covered with shavings of who-knows-what. Just under the picture of
the cheesecake was some text that read,"It's like cheesecake - only better!"
Are they kidding me? Cheesecake? It looks nothing like it. I guess they mean it tastes like cheesecake, well...better than cheesecake. Being the Nutrition Facts junk food junkie that I am, I was curious what this mess of a dessert was made of. The first thing I spotted was the calories, 135 of them. Hey, not bad for a crazy looking dessert like this. Of course there was a catch, this tub of a dessert was for 10 servings. What is that then, 1,350 calories if I was insane enough to eat the whole thing?
By now you must be thinking what this dessert is. It's called a "Dessert Ball," and its sold by Sugar Brook Farms. It's sitting on my desk next to me now, and I was going to eat it, but I decided to write about it instead...I'll probably eat it after I show it to some people first, just so they can absorb the absurdness of this treat for themselves.
I know this post is completely off topic, but the combination of how disgusting the Dessert Ball looks on top of the cheesecake statement on the packaging, the 1,350 calories it packs and the "Looks and tastes homemade, without the fuss" statement, I just had to say something about it. By the way, this definitely doesn't look homemade, nobody in their right mind would make one of these at home. It looks more like a cat chewed up a bunch of food and spit it up like a hairball. As far as tasting homemade, well I haven't tasted it yet, but when I do I'll be sure to add an update to this post here. I think you can order one of these balls online if you do a Google search for "Sugar Brook Dessert Balls."
UPDATE: (12/18/05)
Today was the day I put a spoonful of this so-called dessert into my mouth. And...it wasn't as horrible as it looks. Although, I wouldn't run out of my way to get one of these. As far as the packaging's text that reads, "It's like cheesecake...even better," I think I'll stick with cheescake instead. However, I imagine a scoop of this stuff mixed with ice cream would probably taste pretty good. But, using this as a dessert by itself? No.
"OK," I thought. I picked it up and saw a picture of a nice slice of cheesecake on the side. "I like cheesecake." Well, I looked through the clear plastic tub and this was no cheesecake. Inside sat a flattened ball covered with shavings of who-knows-what. Just under the picture of
the cheesecake was some text that read,"It's like cheesecake - only better!"Are they kidding me? Cheesecake? It looks nothing like it. I guess they mean it tastes like cheesecake, well...better than cheesecake. Being the Nutrition Facts junk food junkie that I am, I was curious what this mess of a dessert was made of. The first thing I spotted was the calories, 135 of them. Hey, not bad for a crazy looking dessert like this. Of course there was a catch, this tub of a dessert was for 10 servings. What is that then, 1,350 calories if I was insane enough to eat the whole thing?
By now you must be thinking what this dessert is. It's called a "Dessert Ball," and its sold by Sugar Brook Farms. It's sitting on my desk next to me now, and I was going to eat it, but I decided to write about it instead...I'll probably eat it after I show it to some people first, just so they can absorb the absurdness of this treat for themselves.
I know this post is completely off topic, but the combination of how disgusting the Dessert Ball looks on top of the cheesecake statement on the packaging, the 1,350 calories it packs and the "Looks and tastes homemade, without the fuss" statement, I just had to say something about it. By the way, this definitely doesn't look homemade, nobody in their right mind would make one of these at home. It looks more like a cat chewed up a bunch of food and spit it up like a hairball. As far as tasting homemade, well I haven't tasted it yet, but when I do I'll be sure to add an update to this post here. I think you can order one of these balls online if you do a Google search for "Sugar Brook Dessert Balls."
UPDATE: (12/18/05)
Today was the day I put a spoonful of this so-called dessert into my mouth. And...it wasn't as horrible as it looks. Although, I wouldn't run out of my way to get one of these. As far as the packaging's text that reads, "It's like cheesecake...even better," I think I'll stick with cheescake instead. However, I imagine a scoop of this stuff mixed with ice cream would probably taste pretty good. But, using this as a dessert by itself? No.
posted by Daniel M Silverman at 1:18 PM
5 Comments:
This is just constructive criticism. You don't have to post this at all. You might want to spell check before you post. You might also want to check your punctuation (this word may be spelled wrong). I really like your articles, so please don't take this too personally.
Dan
Derek, Kevin's friend.....Appriciate the notification on the absurd desert and I will stay away from this ball of waste-expanding junk. Keep writing!!!!!!
Thanks for the comments. As for the first comment, I usually do a spell check, put time was against me on this post.
As for the second post, thanks for writing Derek, keep reading and don't forget to check out our Webisode video clips coming in March.
Well, How did it taste?
The politicians up in Washington 'have their way 'with us, FPL in South Florida rob their customers blind, dysfunctional families throughout the States continue to display their nastiness and you, my good man, write about balls, albeit cheeseballs?
Let's get heavy.
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